Test questions

I'm still adjusting to life in seminary. It's a totally different world than engineering school. Instead of spending all my time doing math problems, I get to spend all my time reading books. As of typing this I have read 1322 pages so far this semester (not bad for someone who hates to read). That's probably more than I read total in all of college.

Reading hasn't been the only thing to adjust to. I had my first test on Thursday, which unexpectedly created a crisis of its own on Wednesday night. It all started while I was having my usual struggle getting started with the study process. Studying for tests has always been an intense process for me, which both stresses and wears me out. I have always been a "crammer," but unlike most "crammers," I am incredibly thorough.

While it was pretty normal for me to be stressed the day before a test, this time I faced a moral dilemma: How much should I really study? I've always worked extremely hard to make good grades, but being in seminary things felt different. Would I just be studying hard to make a good grade or to learn things to help me in ministry later? On the other hand, if I didn't study as much, was I really trying my best? Would that be honoring to God? I felt trapped. I didn't seem right to work so hard just for the purpose of a grade, but how could I honor God without putting forth my best effort?

Needless to say, agonizing about such things wasn't the way to go either. Nothing was getting done that way. Finally, God used a friend to talk some sense into me. "Who are grades for?" they asked. I knew the answer to that question, but the answer wasn't God. While it was not honoring to Him to blow off studying, neither was it honoring Him to study to the point of anxiety, and for my own pridefulness at that. I knew then what I needed to do.

I didn't study near as much as I planned to, but when I got the test, I still felt like I over-studied. I'm hoping this will be the last of my study anxiety. I'll have enough tests over the next four years without adding any more of my own.