Nearing the End

I took my first test for my last class, tonight. It was one of the most difficult test I have ever taken, both in length and content. No one in the class finished, which is a bad sign. I wasn't totally surprised at the difficulty of the test, but I was at difficulty to study for it.

I've never enjoyed studying, but it has never been a problem. I will say that I studied as much for this test as I would have any other semester, but the feeling was different. For over six years now, I have been immersed in school. It has been my job (and a full-time one at that), and it has consumed my thoughts. But now that I am only in class a mere 3 hours a week, it requires very little thought. It actually feels a lot like an afterthought.

I have loved college, the environment, the friends, the memories. I think my goal for a while was to stay as long as possible (and I was quite successful at that). I have had a great college experience, but it is no longer the same. My thoughts are no longer consumed with course work because they have run out of courses for me to take. My closest friends have all graduated now, and those who remain are more likely to greet me with "you are still here?" than a smile.

It's definitely not the same anymore...But it's not supposed to be. It's time to move on, and this is the first time I have felt that without apprehension.

I'm not entirely sure why I've stayed in college for so long. I'm not really sure where I am going right now, and it is scary to some extent. But, in Proverbs 16:9, Solomon says "in his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." I really believe that. I could have finished school by now, but I have a feeling that this little bit of extra time I have spent in college will have a profound impact on my future in a way I could have never planned.

I'm nearing the end. I'm not sure where I'm going, but at least I know who I am following.